twinsister — antiparasitic
Pfp is my fursona by the delightful @kissayoubasard
Ps terfs fuck off
if you think really long and hard about a videogame it should be automatically added to your total playtime
machenzza-deactivated20220827:
Fyodor Dostoevsky’s manuscript draft of The Brothers Karamazov, 1880
Im just gonna sob through these two days. I dont want my family to see
I’d like to say summer is rotten to me now,
But rotten things are not quite dead, which the season is.
Dead much like you, and dreadful; unbearable in its stillness. No going back, no moving forward.
I’m trapped in a waiting room for people you left behind,
Like in a hospital, where people hope for good news
But this waiting room is for people who never had the time to hope
Without a sole chance things will be alright. And this waiting room is slowly getting emptier,
People getting tired, sighing and leaving,
What are we waiting for? Stalking outside, eyes skittish, avoiding mine.
Kind of guilty, but it’s been enough. They did their time.
I’m so lonely here, I always was,
I hate them for leaving.
I hate you for trapping me here. It’s so humid, there’s no color, no smell
There’s nothing to focus on, only your absence
And I don’t breathe, don’t sweat, I’m not human here, I’m a single cell
With only one ability: to hurt. Well, and to remember; it’s the same thing to me.
I’m withering in this waiting room of a summer
As I grow older in the worst way possible
Each year is more saddening that the one before.
And I just wait for it to be over, to be a bit farther from you,
For our august to turn into a stranger’s september,
For the days to pass, for the feeling to fade,
But each summer leaves me a sadder person.
More lonely. Weaker.
The absence grows:
Your absence. There’s more of less of you.
Others’ absence. Each summer thins out the people in the waiting room.
One day I will leave too, I think
But not the way the others did
Instead of strolling through the exit, I’ll break down the cabinet door,
Only to find your room there,
And I’ll stand in your place.
I’ll look at what remains of you.
I’ll do as you did.
I’m waiting for the summer to pass,
This place was never a waiting room,
And it was always a station.
I really do feel some days that my university is trying to get me to kill myself. But I know they aren’t capable of that level of interdepartmental coordination.
*doesn’t post about/draw a character for 50 years* i am basically the CEO of beinf a fan of this character
